I recently got some wisdom teeth taken out and my boyfriend has had the lovely job of “taking care of me” for the last few days. Last night I was in such agony that I proceeded to force him to come to my house “even if it was only for a little bit.”
His first mistake: Thinking that I would actually let him weasel his ass home.
His second mistake: Making me a chocolate milkshake (just kidding, that’s cool in my book)
His third mistake: Offering to work the morning shift the next day (today)
So my boyfriend says some silly, silly things, but this morning in a half slumber he muttered this gem:
“I’ll just text the bitch to come in early”
To any normal person, this makes no sense. But alas, his post-grad ass has made him impossible to wake up in the morning. So even though he got a good 7 hours of sleep, he apparently texted one of his co-workers (aka “the bitch”) to go in early so that he didn’t have to.