When my professor said that our next speech, a manuscript speech, could be an introduction to any speaker that we wanted: dead or alive, famous or not. Naturally, I chose to introduce Elle Woods to a group of fellow Cosmo girls. Here is what I’d say:
Fellow Cosmo girls, as many of you may know, the rules of hair care are simple and finite. One woman who has used this advice to her advantage is Elle Woods. She is not only an inspiration to blondes everywhere, but also an inspiration to women everywhere.
A former president of her sorority, Delta Nu, at CULA and a 2004 Harvard Law School graduate, she has done great things in the world of law, and in life.
She solved her first case as a first year law student at Harvard. The murder of Hayworth Wyndham was cracked open by Elle and thanks to her knowledge of hair care, she proved Wyndham’s wife, Brooke, innocent and Wyndham’s daughter, Chutney, guilty.
After moving to Washington D.C., getting married to an unexpected Prince Charming, and finding out that her chihuahua, Bruiser, is gay, Elle successfully fronted Bruiser’s Bill. Bruiser’s Bill is a bill to outlaw animal testing, making Elle a “voice for those who can’t speak.”
During her final words to her Harvard graduating class, Elle said, “you must always have faith in people, and most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself.”
Please welcome Elle to the floor to speak about the three L’s: love, law, and life.
As you can see, I am one hundred percent obsessed with this woman. After having many intrigued eyes when I set my manuscript down on my desk in my first class today, I decided that I needed to post it for the world to see.
Maybe one day the real Elle Woods will come out of hiding and speak to Cosmo girls everywhere about finding our own Emmett’s.