Personal

Remember that time I went to the Beaujolais region in France? Yeah, me neither. Well, not at the moment. I bought me some Beaujolais Nouveau wine and it is delicious. I highly recommend picking up a cheap bottle at your local wine wholesale location. Instead of the shitty drowsy feeling I usually get after drinking red wine, I feel delicious. And by that I mean fat. Oh wait that’s all the time.

Cheers, bitches

Cheers, bitches

Anyway, I just thought you all should know how that wine is made. This is 100% copy/paste:

Few other wines are produced, bottled, and released within a few weeks of the harvest. The most strategic way to do this is to employ a winemaking method called carbonic maceration. Without getting too technical, carbonic maceration is essentially the fermentation of grapes occurring inside the skins. Traditionally, the winemaking process begins with the crushing of grapes; the juice of the grapes is pushed out of the skins and gradually ferments. For red wines, this juice is often left to sit with its skins so that tannins are extracted, giving the wine a fuller, more concentrated structure, and often adding some bitter flavors. With carbonic maceration, the grapes are not crushed. Rather, the grapes are piled on top of each other in a sealed container that is filled with carbon dioxide. More CO2 is emitted by the grapes on the bottom of the container, as it is gently crushed by the weight of the top grapes. All this carbon dioxide causes fermentation to take place inside the grape skins. The resulting wine is fresh, fruity, and very low in tannins.

Thanks for that, Wine Weekly. I learned a lot.

Can someone get me a refill?

xx

Always,

Allie

 

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Red, red wine

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DIY/Crafts

Getting pinspired: Holiday wreath for mom

Pinterest is a great place for stay at home moms to post their ridiculous crafts and for sorority girls to drool over them. Many Pinterest-inspired crafts do not end up looking the way they were intended.

Sometimes you just don’t have the time, money or patience as a stay at home mom. But thanks to my lack of activities and lack of any of my friends being home from school as early as me, I successfully got Pinspired for (part of) my mom’s Christmas gift.

Here was the original pin:

From Pinterest

From Pinterest

Literally the directions were: “Start with a foam wreath, wrap in white ribbon, and cover with craft store pearls”

Little do they know that a pack of about 30 craft store pearls is $5.99 and you need about 300. So I used these things that are supposed to go in vases or something. They looked like pearls on branches so I thought that might work. I bought myself a styrofoam wreath and about six pearl branches. Then I had to go back for another six. This project requires a lot of balls (pun intended).

My version

My version

I also decided to use gold along with my standard pearl and silver pearls. I think it turned out pretty well. Especially since the pearls were attached to little branches I just stuck them into the styrofoam and saved a lot of time and burns from the hot glue gun!

Also, you could interchange the ribbon for any time of year! (Think: light pink or yellow for Easter)

Love it? Let me know! Post a comment!

xx

Always,

Allie

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Opinion, Personal

Incriminating bumper stickers

Bumper stickers can be a great form of personal expression. Personally, the only stickers my car has are on my back windshield. They let everyone on the road know that I go to Northeastern University and that I am a Delta Zeta.

The bumper stickers I will never understand are the stick figure family car decals you see on every soccer mom minivan on the road. As if a minivan doesn’t tell the world you’re a mom – you need to tell everyone else how many little “bundles of joy” you have.

Cool story.

Even better is when you put those little bundles of joy in danger when you drive like a moron.

I’ll provide an example for you:

Today I was sitting in traffic on a two-lane road (Oradell Ave if you’re from my area) which leads to Bergen Catholic High School. The left lane coming up to the traffic light is a left-turn-only lane. So, naturally I was in the right lane. I got up to the traffic light and not one, but TWO cars went straight in the left turn only lane. One of these cars was a minivan with a stick figure family decal on the back. Not only did they have that, but also a Bergen Catholic sticker. If they have a Bergen Catholic sticker, the school that is on the corner of the intersection I’m talking about, they obviously know that the left lane happens to be a left-turn-only lane. They just didn’t care because their precious bundle of joy could not wait an extra two minutes to get picked up from school by mom.

This is just one of many reasons bumper stickers make you look like a complete asshole.

As Jay-Jamar of Yahoo.com says, “Overall, these family decals and school bumper stickers tend to give information in a boastful and bragging manner, where often negativity will stem from such arrogant gestures.”

xx

Always,

Allie

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I was never the hugest fan of AJ (I was always more of a Nick Carter kinda girl), but AJ has welcomed a new member of the Backstreet family – Ava!

AJ and Ava

AJ and Ava

She’s so adorable and innocent in his large tattooed arms. And I’m diggin’ the cheetah onesie. She was born Nov. 27 so she’s already graced this planet for TWO. WHOLE. WEEKS.

Can’t wait until she sees daddy’s fashion choices back in the day…

circa 1993

circa 1993

News, World News

BACKSTREET….GIRL?!?!?!

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Personal

People Who Slam Doors

Hello all. I’m sorry I’ve been completely MIA lately ealing with finals and a serious case fo writer’s block.

I would have still had writer’s block if I were not rudely awakened from my nap time slumber just now if it were not for some inconsiderate soul slamming a door and being generally loud-as-fuck.

So today I write an open letter to our friends (foes) that live one thin floor below us.

Do you possess a brain? If so, did your parents neglect to baby-proof their home before having you? I thought so.

Why else would you be so rude, inconsiderate and loud-as-fuck? I am baffled as well.

What normal human being has raging parties on Tuesday nights, allows their headboard to slam against the wall they share with an innocent other person, and SLAMS THEIR PORCH DOOR MAKING OTHER PEOPLE’S ROOMS SHAKE????

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, silly lax bros, but you do indeed have large muscles and deep voices. You’re so masculine. When you slam a door or proclaim your excitement for being “so done” with what I can only assume are classes (I’m not sure you attend them though), it’s a lot more loud than when I do those same things.

I actually do not care about how you “fucked that slam” last night or that you failed English. I find it hilarious that you think I do, though.

Your lifestyle choices will quickly catch up to you when you graduate your sub-par university and realize that no real lacrosse team wants to draft (is that right?) binge drinking muscle heads that don’t know English!

I’ve heard a good many of your conversations between each other and between you and women (I use that term loosely) and 99% of them have been completely incoherent. Saying “bro,” “like,” “motherfucker,” and “dude” every other syllable does not foster positive communication patterns.

Please move out.

Yours truly

I hope you’ve enjoyed my letter to my incoherent, idiotic neighbors. Since you’ve been so good to me, I’ll leave you with this:

One of them is violently vomiting on the porch that happens to be directly under my porch and outside my bedroom window. I take solace in the fact that I am thankfully above, not below, the bile. Please don’t slam the door once you’re done ejecting your stomach fluid.

Dear readers: How do you handle out-of-control neighbors? I’d love your help on this one.

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