Comedy

Reasons I enjoy sharing a wall with a dumb lax bro

We all know lax bros are…well…lax bros. They do things that make all of us scratch our heads a little.

Here are a few things I’m confused about:

  • WHO are you on the phone with?
  • WHY is she ok with this conversation?
  • HOW is someone this slutty?

First of all, I must tell you that I am drunk on wine and am generally OK with telling people exactly how I feel right now.

Violated.

I wish there were an HR department I could call.

Let me tell you a few things I just had to endure listening to while innocently searching for a RomCom on Netflix:

  • “Why don’t you just sit on my face?”
  • “I’ll supply all the liquor”
  • “Drunken dance off”
  • “Let’s make out”
  • “You look soooooo good in that shirt”
  • “Ohh yeah look at that girl. You look really good in that Facebook picture”
  • “Ya call me back so I can hear that voice”

Can someone just kill me? Or better yet – just inject dumb into my brain. Oh wait, too late.

Someone please help the lax bros of the world. Hand them a book. Don’t have sex with them. And for fuck’s sake, please don’t reproduce.

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