- You make noise. If you turn on a blender at 6:55 a.m. you officially suck as a roommate and a person. I don’t care if my alarm went off 10 minutes ago – my eyes are still closed and I’m in my happy place until my “final straw” alarm goes off. Oh wait you just ruined my happy place. Die.
- You talk on the phone. If you’re in the gym locker room talking about your friends failed relationship you should probably question all of your actions including this one.
- You get naked in public. Seriously can we all just agree that anyone that gets completely naked in the gym locker room is either really self-absorbed or really fucking awful? I get it – you work out. Go in a changing room or put your one bra over the other and stealthily take the one underneath off.
- You bring your laptop on public transportation. I’m not talking about 5 hour bus rides here, I’m talking about whipping out your laptop on a rush hour train to finish up that sentence that just couldn’t wait two stops until you got to your favorite Starbucks.
- You listen to Spotify. OK, OK, listen to it all you want but if one more person tells me how superior Spotify is to Pandora I will scream. Not only do I not listen to Pandora in the first place, but I’m perfectly happy with my current music and streaming options. Sorry I don’t want to share with all my Facebook friends that I listened to “Jealous” by Nick Jonas 24 times in a row on Friday night and I don’t want the music to stop because I havent touched my laptop in an hour.
This is the worst blog ever. Not sure how or why I still have any followers. Posting every 6 months is simply unacceptable. I’ll try harder, y’all.