Humor, OkCupid, Online Dating

One-liners gone wrong

I love a good pickup line. Actually, I don’t even like a good pickup line, I like clever ones (or at least ones that make me giggle and not face-palm). However, more often than not, the pickup lines I encounter make me want to throw my phone across the room and declare my eternal single-ness from the top of the Empire State Building.

What does this even mean?

Exhibit A

Exhibit A: To give you some background, on my profile it says I’m good at being sarcastic and parallel parking. I’m not sure why he would but those two things together to create one very weird connection, but he did. I’m also not sure what he expected my response to be – “Yes, I usually use irony and wit when I’m talking to parking spots I’m trying to get into.”

Exhibit B

Exhibit B

Exhibit B: Did he miss the part where I said I was interested in men?! In all fairness, maybe he did. But either way, why does he think I care what his sister thinks of me? Realistically, I wouldn’t meet the family until at least a few months into dating and we’re just not there yet. At least take me to dinner first. Also, why would your sisters taste in women affect your taste in women? Are you turned on by the same type? I’m seeing multiple red flags here…

Exhibit C

Exhibit C

Exhibit C: I’m relatively certain neither of these things are happening. Ever. Also, put a space between your word and your wink 😉

Always,

Allie

P.S. Follow me on Twittah. Ya won’t regret it.
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History, Personal

P.S. I got a job in New York City

In case my last post about going on my first date in NYC didn’t tip you off…

Bring on the city boys!

I’m beyond excited to be moving home to the NY/NJ area and starting a new chapter of my life post-graduation. I’m excited to share my dating successes and (mostly) failures with the Internet. However, Boston will obviously always have a place in my heart – it’s where I grew up.

One would think this post would be all about the future but really I’d like to take a minute to talk about how much Boston will always mean to me.

It means responsibility. In high school we always have someone to remind us to do the important things. Once you move away – that person becomes you (or you roommate). I had to get a planner, set reminders, take notes, and not fuck anything up. I didn’t have my parents waking me up and driving me to school, I had to walk two miles in the snow to get to class even when I didn’t want to. Omg. I am becoming my parents.

It means maturity. Growing up is hard. Especially when you’re hours away from family and everything safe and cozy. Since the people you surround yourself are really your only family for the time being, putting petty things on the back burner is a necessity.

It means a little bit of immaturity. Growing up is hard. But being young is so much easier. Sometimes we did stupid things and then had to face the consequences and learn from them… Like that time I studied in bed and retained nothing and then got a D on my Finance midterm… Or the time we walked home from MIT in five inch heels and then couldn’t walk properly for like three days.

It means firsts. Jobs, apartments, bills, co-ops, frat parties, interviews, and so, so, so much more. Boston was the place where I got to experience all of the things that adults experience after graduating college and living at home for a few years. I went on my first job interview and got my first job (co-op, but same thing) at 19 years old. I was, for all intents and purposes, a functioning adult at 19. By 20 I had an apartment, bills, and a lease in my name.

It means lasts (kinda). I firmly believe that anything I do in Boston will not be the “last” time I do it there. Although I still have a “Boston Bucket List” in my Google Drive that I still haven’t completed, I feel like I’ve done a lot there and it’s kind of okay that I haven’t done everything. My visits to Boston are going to be fewer and further in between, but when I do get back one day I will most definitely whip out that list and go to town (literally).

It means history. Boston = American history. It also means my own history. At this point, looking back, I have amazing history in that city. I have landmarks that I cherish, bars I barely remember going to (including the oldest one in America), and places I’ve created lifelong memories.

It means winter. Sorry, I had to throw this in there. In my five years living there, I managed to survive two of Boston’s top 10 snowiest winters and two of the top 10 worst individual snowstorms. I almost moved to Florida.

It means the future. Boston is an amazing place with only good things to come. It’s only becoming more and more amazing with every passing year. With the impending Olympic decision, Boston is ramping up it’s overall accessibility, state-of-the-art public areas, residential (and hopefully affordable) housing, and dual commercial/communal spaces. I swear, I’m going to come back in five years and not even recognize my school.

It means family. I 100% believe that I have a family in Boston. Although there may not be a real bloodline involved, I have a Northeastern family, a Delta Zeta family, and a network of friends that will be there for me if I ever need it. We’re all moving around and choosing our own paths in life, but Boston is one thing we will always have in common. It will always be that nostalgic thing that we look back on and wonder why we ever left.

It means independence. This is the place that fostered my independence and showed me how to succeed on my own. I absolutely would not be the person I am today if I had not made the decision to move to Boston five long (but short) years ago. I learned to be my own person, to value my happiness first, to remove myself from toxic situations, and to truly trust myself.

I got wicked emotional writing this post and had to stop here. Tears on the keyboard. Check back for potential updates.

Always,

Allie

P.S. Follow me on Twittah. Ya won’t regret it.

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