Humor

Renaming Elite Daily articles because they’re legitimately so unrealistic

Sometimes Elite Daily is fucking hilarious. Their Labs videos, like the one where the tall guy hooks up with girls just because he’s tall and wearing a hat, make me pee my pants. As fucked up as that video was, it’s sad to see that there are some women that are so desperate to do things “for the story” that they end up looking like idiots in the process. I feel like that’s something Elite Daily not only feeds off of but also encourages. Not that I don’t love a good article about how I’m living my life the wrong way or how to live it better (according to another self-righteous millennial), I just feel like sometimes these articles can perpetuate an unrealistic expectation – just me?

I decided to take a look at a few articles I saw in the last few days (by no means is this a comprehensive list) and update them to what is actually going through the stream of consciousness of an average single millennial. Check ’em out. Let me know what you think.

I Hate People: Why I’ll Never Work In The Retail Industry Again AKA I hate People: Why I’ll complain about working in the retail industry to anyone who will listen

Don’t Give Up: 8 Ways To Manage Your Time For Success Post-College AKA 8 Things to read about before you start actually managing your time

Sink Or Swim: 6 Things I Wish I Would Have Known Before Graduating AKA 6 Things I wish I read on Elite Daily before graduating instead of figuring it out on my own

For Now Vs Forever: The Difference Between A Rebound And The Real Thing AKA Read this and realize that maybe you won’t find your husband at 23 and that’s cool

How I Broke The Rules Of Dating And Ended Up With A Boyfriend AKA I have a boyfriend: Maybe one day you will, too

Be Self-Aware: 5 Basic Things All 2015 Grads Need To Embrace ASAP AKA I used trendy words to convince you to read this article about not posting irresponsible photos to social media: PS your mistakes will follow you everywhere

Why I Chose To Travel Abroad When I Graduated Instead Of Get A Job AKA I couldn’t get a job so this seemed like a good excuse to do some “soul searching”

Great US Soccer Players Have One Thing In Common: They’re From New Jersey AKA If you’re from New Jersey you’re automatically #Blessed

Soooo am I totally off base? Or nah? Lmk.

Always,

Allie

P.S. Follow me on Twittah. Ya won’t regret it.
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