Happy Wedding Season, y’all!
As I was watching The Bachelorette the other night I came to a very interesting realization. I could never say “I love you” to someone after mere weeks. Maybe it’s because I’m naturally cynical and generally have problems showing emotion, but is it actually normal to fall in love with another person within 6-8 weeks?
I asked my coworkers (who I’m extremely close with) when they said “I Love You” to their significant others for the first time and two of them couldn’t even answer me because they’re married and probably say it every single day (and have for, like, years). The other one told me it was probably about two months. Woah.
But, honestly, I’m fine without love for now.
There are so many ways to define oneself outside of relationship status. It’s interesting that even in the most commitment-phobic city on the planet and being in the most progressive society in history (the present) that people still feel like success is defined by having a significant other.
Don’t feel bad for me for being single for the last 2+ years. Don’t feel bad that I have no one to go home to every night. Don’t feel bad that I don’t get consistently laid. Do feel jealous that I can do whatever the hell I want whenever the hell I want and don’t have to consult with a single other person beforehand.
I define success a little differently. Maybe you agree, maybe you don’t. But if you’re also a single, badass female just know that there are a slew of reasons why you do NOT need a boyfriend or a husband or a girlfriend or whatever. Here are a few:
- A successful and rewarding career that takes up all of your time because you’re absolutely crushing the game and getting serious #werkperks
- A group of amazing, supportive, confident friends surrounding you to lift you up, keep you grounded, or kick you off your high horse when necessary
- Education. That thing women haven’t always had the option of getting. Yeah, well now there are more of us getting Bachelor’s degrees and, honestly, we want to be with someone just as well-educated and I guess that pool is smaller now.
- Being an athlete takes time. All that training and stuff. (That’s probably why I don’t do it. But I imagine it would leave little time for another person.
- TRAVELING is so much easier solo. I know what you’re going to say. “But I’ll get lonely!” Nah. You can go whatever the hell you want. It’s liberating
- Generally just spending more time making YOU happy. You don’t need a reason to not have a significant other.
I think the most important is #5. No one needs a reason for being single (or for not being single). I HATE when people (mainly men) ask me why or how I am still single. Because I want to be. I want to make plans with my friends and go out with coworkers – the people who already know me and whom I do not need to constantly try to impress.
There are some women who look at age 30 as some sort of cutoff. “I want kids by 30.” “I want to be married by the time I’m 30.” “I need to at least be in a serious relationship when I’m 30.”
What will happen if you’re still single at 30? You’ll be fine. That’s what.