History, Media

WHAT?! Did feminism even happen or nah?

It’s hard to believe that there are actually women out there that aren’t feminists. It’s hard to believe that some people aren’t feminists.

Last night I overheard something that one of my roommates said while watching Chopped that made me completely cringe. I don’t think she meant it in an anti-feminist way but you be the judge.

“Cooking is just such a commonly female profession, like, women usually are the ones that cook in the home. But there are so many more men doing it.”

Cue the shivers, shakes, and all the bad feels. There are two things wrong with this sentence in my opinion.

First and foremost, the idea that a woman’s place is in the kitchen. It is not. I know she was probably saying that a woman’s place in the past (like the sixties) has been in the kitchen, but very outdated ideology is somehow still there.

Second is the idea that men are somehow not allowed to be taking part in cooking. This is pretty much the basis of equality and freedom. Everyone can do any job they want and look any way they want and act any way they want. Acceptance for all, obvi.

Maybe Chopped brings more male chefs on to the show, who knows. But the point is: why are we pointing this out? If men want to cook, let them cook. If men want to play with Barbie dolls, let them play with Barbie dolls. It’s the same as a woman wanting to be an engineer: let them do it without calling it a “men’s career.” If we keep saying things like that, we’re reinforcing the ideology that some careers (or outfits, or toys, or haircuts) are inherently linked to a specific gender.

Pointing out the past is one thing, inferring it’s a shame that things have progressed is another – and it’s not okay. (Insert clenched fist emoji here)

Sorry to get all real and ish. I just had to get it out there.

 

Always,

Allie

P.S. Follow me on Twittah. Ya won’t regret it.

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Humor, Media, OkCupid, Opinion

Does this ever work for you?

Questions for the male population taking part in online dating.

I sometimes receive messages and I openly wonder, “Has this ever worked for you in the past?”

There are some first messages that you just can’t ignore. Okay, usually I do ignore them. But in theory I want to ask if their weird pickup line has worked in the past, who it’s worked on, and what the end result was – I guess that’s the social scientist in me that is genuinely interested and curious about human interaction. I mean, that’s one of the reasons I have so many online dating profiles (aside from the obvious: being single).

Get it?! What's Updog?!?! HAHAHHAHAHA. not.

Get it?! What’s Updog?!?! HAHAHHAHAHA. not.

Like this winner. I believe this natural wordsmith must have really dug into the recesses of his brain to think of this one (or at least thought back to the third grade when this was a thing). Sure, I could have played along. But honestly, if I’m not instantly attracted to you – or at least determine that I wouldn’t blow you off if you approached me in a bar – I’m not going to respond. It’s not because I’m rude, either. I have a right to respond to whomever I want. So to all you guys that say I “owe” them at least some sort of response and that it’s “common courtesy”: I DON’T. AND FUCK OFF.

Ugh.

Ugh.

Slight rage about being bitched at for not responding to an ugly guy aside. This photo above shows why online dating is so fucking dumb. (Might as well rename it #OKStupid, amiright?) This guy starts out okay; he comes on a little strong, sure, but the words are nice so you can’t really hold it against him. And then you read the last sentence. It kind of hits you like a truck, honestly. I’m not some kind of communist that isn’t aware that this is a joke, but this isn’t Improv Asylum is it? This is supposed to be “dating.” Would you say this to someone standing on line at Starbucks? Would you say this to someone next to you at the bar? Would you say this to the owner of the cute dog you’re walking past on the street? I THINK NOT. (Is that how people used to meet in the olden days? I really don’t know. It was just a guess.)

The moral of the story is: If it wouldn’t work in person, don’t say it online.

P.S. Follow me on Twittah. Ya won’t regret it.

Always,

Allie

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Humor, Media, OkCupid, Social Media

Upload a photo, damnit

Here’s one more thing I don’t understand about online dating: People who don’t upload photos of themselves.

There is a reason these people do not have photos and it is absolutely not casual. The most common excuse I’ve received is: “I’m new to this site and haven’t had the chance to upload photos yet” or “I am a (insert job title here) and I don’t want my clients/ex-gf/coworkers to see me on here.”

“I’m new to this site and haven’t uploaded photos yet” 

Here’s the issue with that. You have time to search for people and message them, but you don’t have the time to upload a photo? Really? For some reason you’re making me think that you’re actually really gross looking and have no photos of yourself or you’re a 15 year old kid looking to cyber. Either way, no thanks.

“I am a parter at a law firm and I don’t want my coworkers to see me on here.”

Okay. Let me just clear something up. You’re online dating not taking part in beastiality. Pretty much every single person (and even maybe some in relationships) has an online dating app on their phone. It is not the 90’s and it is no longer taboo to meet people online.

image1 (2)

Double trouble

Some guys are even crazy enough to use both excuses in one message – and have the balls to upload a picture anyway. Just to clarify – what were you planning to say on here that would scare away your clients? God forbid you tell the Internet that you enjoy long walks on the beach and candlelight dinners. I’m sure that would really implicate you in a court of law. Speaking of which, would things that your clients have on their online dating profile be held against them to a prosecution?

Word of advice: Upload a photo if you want girls to respond to you. Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t want the general public to know about you (because some girls you message might just blog about it later…)

Always,

Allie

 

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Media, Social Media

I’m online dating. Lol.

Online dating. Realistically, that’s how my generation dates now. Since I’m no longer in college and can’t meet future boyfriends after six (teen) tequila shots at a Cinco de Mayo party (shouts to you, Deacon), I guess I’m officially venturing into the world of online dating and apps.

Disclaimer: I’ve actually been “online dating” for a few months, but I haven’t really documented my experiences.

So what apps are on my phone, you ask?

Tinder: With the release of it’s new paid premium version it kind of sucks. I haven’t yet hit my “no more matches until you pay” screen, yet, but I’m just assuming. I downloaded Tinder about a year ago and used it pretty hardcore during my last semester of college and even throughout the summer. After that I sort of deleted it off-and-on based on when I was the most bored. I met a sex friend I endearingly call “Finance Bro” on Tinder around last April and we “hung out” until about October-ish. At least now I can say I’ve hooked up in an office in the Pru?

OkCupid: Ugh. It’s a love-hate relationship with this one. I’ve actually gone on some pretty decent dates off this app, but the amount of creepy/persistent/awkward messages I get may or may not make it worth it. It seems like about 1/5 of guys on this app actually want to date, 1/5 are looking for a hookup (go to Tinder, bros), 1/5 are just perpetual online pen pals that never actually ask you out, and 1/5 are in a relationship and looking for a third party to join in on the fun, and the other 1/5 just cant take a hint when you ignore their three messages saying “hey.”

Happn: I’m actually excited about this new app. It started in France (and, like, they understand love, right?) and it basically does what Tinder does – uses your location to match you with people. Except it shows you how many times you’ve “crossed paths” with someone. The only problem I’ve noticed is that I take the train every morning, so it matches me with people who live/work/exist along the routes my train takes. I would rather it connect to Facebook events or something where you could actually pinpoint where you’ve crossed paths, instead of “Near Saint Botolph St, 02115 Boston.” But that’s okay. I’ll give it a chance. No bites so far (not sure if that’s good or bad) but I’m excited to see what becomes of it here in Boston. Will I become a trendsetter??!! That’s only sort of my life goal.

Well, wish me luck?

Always,
Allie

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