Humor, Media, OkCupid, Social Media

Upload a photo, damnit

Here’s one more thing I don’t understand about online dating: People who don’t upload photos of themselves.

There is a reason these people do not have photos and it is absolutely not casual. The most common excuse I’ve received is: “I’m new to this site and haven’t had the chance to upload photos yet” or “I am a (insert job title here) and I don’t want my clients/ex-gf/coworkers to see me on here.”

“I’m new to this site and haven’t uploaded photos yet” 

Here’s the issue with that. You have time to search for people and message them, but you don’t have the time to upload a photo? Really? For some reason you’re making me think that you’re actually really gross looking and have no photos of yourself or you’re a 15 year old kid looking to cyber. Either way, no thanks.

“I am a parter at a law firm and I don’t want my coworkers to see me on here.”

Okay. Let me just clear something up. You’re online dating not taking part in beastiality. Pretty much every single person (and even maybe some in relationships) has an online dating app on their phone. It is not the 90’s and it is no longer taboo to meet people online.

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Double trouble

Some guys are even crazy enough to use both excuses in one message – and have the balls to upload a picture anyway. Just to clarify – what were you planning to say on here that would scare away your clients? God forbid you tell the Internet that you enjoy long walks on the beach and candlelight dinners. I’m sure that would really implicate you in a court of law. Speaking of which, would things that your clients have on their online dating profile be held against them to a prosecution?

Word of advice: Upload a photo if you want girls to respond to you. Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t want the general public to know about you (because some girls you message might just blog about it later…)




Media, Social Media

I’m online dating. Lol.

Online dating. Realistically, that’s how my generation dates now. Since I’m no longer in college and can’t meet future boyfriends after six (teen) tequila shots at a Cinco de Mayo party (shouts to you, Deacon), I guess I’m officially venturing into the world of online dating and apps.

Disclaimer: I’ve actually been “online dating” for a few months, but I haven’t really documented my experiences.

So what apps are on my phone, you ask?

Tinder: With the release of it’s new paid premium version it kind of sucks. I haven’t yet hit my “no more matches until you pay” screen, yet, but I’m just assuming. I downloaded Tinder about a year ago and used it pretty hardcore during my last semester of college and even throughout the summer. After that I sort of deleted it off-and-on based on when I was the most bored. I met a sex friend I endearingly call “Finance Bro” on Tinder around last April and we “hung out” until about October-ish. At least now I can say I’ve hooked up in an office in the Pru?

OkCupid: Ugh. It’s a love-hate relationship with this one. I’ve actually gone on some pretty decent dates off this app, but the amount of creepy/persistent/awkward messages I get may or may not make it worth it. It seems like about 1/5 of guys on this app actually want to date, 1/5 are looking for a hookup (go to Tinder, bros), 1/5 are just perpetual online pen pals that never actually ask you out, and 1/5 are in a relationship and looking for a third party to join in on the fun, and the other 1/5 just cant take a hint when you ignore their three messages saying “hey.”

Happn: I’m actually excited about this new app. It started in France (and, like, they understand love, right?) and it basically does what Tinder does – uses your location to match you with people. Except it shows you how many times you’ve “crossed paths” with someone. The only problem I’ve noticed is that I take the train every morning, so it matches me with people who live/work/exist along the routes my train takes. I would rather it connect to Facebook events or something where you could actually pinpoint where you’ve crossed paths, instead of “Near Saint Botolph St, 02115 Boston.” But that’s okay. I’ll give it a chance. No bites so far (not sure if that’s good or bad) but I’m excited to see what becomes of it here in Boston. Will I become a trendsetter??!! That’s only sort of my life goal.

Well, wish me luck?