Humor, OkCupid, Online Dating

One-liners gone wrong

I love a good pickup line. Actually, I don’t even like a good pickup line, I like clever ones (or at least ones that make me giggle and not face-palm). However, more often than not, the pickup lines I encounter make me want to throw my phone across the room and declare my eternal single-ness from the top of the Empire State Building.

What does this even mean?

Exhibit A

Exhibit A: To give you some background, on my profile it says I’m good at being sarcastic and parallel parking. I’m not sure why he would but those two things together to create one very weird connection, but he did. I’m also not sure what he expected my response to be – “Yes, I usually use irony and wit when I’m talking to parking spots I’m trying to get into.”

Exhibit B

Exhibit B

Exhibit B: Did he miss the part where I said I was interested in men?! In all fairness, maybe he did. But either way, why does he think I care what his sister thinks of me? Realistically, I wouldn’t meet the family until at least a few months into dating and we’re just not there yet. At least take me to dinner first. Also, why would your sisters taste in women affect your taste in women? Are you turned on by the same type? I’m seeing multiple red flags here…

Exhibit C

Exhibit C

Exhibit C: I’m relatively certain neither of these things are happening. Ever. Also, put a space between your word and your wink 😉

Always,

Allie

P.S. Follow me on Twittah. Ya won’t regret it.
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Humor, OkCupid

Connect Zero

My roommate’s boyfriend told me about this new thing people were doing on Tinder – starting Connect 4 games in order to get girls to actually respond. Scott is from Canada and was visiting for New Years and I was like, OK CANADA, whatever you say… No one does that shit.

And then it happened. Granted, it was like two months later, but a guy messaged me with a Connect 4 board on OkCupid.

I mean... it was a valiant effort

I mean… it was a valiant effort

I had previously ignored him which is why I’m confused as to why he would spend all that time carefully crafting this board, but I guess it’s a good try. It seems relatively harmless. Sure, I could have responded, but that literally takes SO much effort just to type out! And I mean I’m not online dating to play board games with strangers with weird/terrifying eyebrows…

Always,

Allie

P.S. Follow me on Twittah. Ya won’t regret it.

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