Similar to the 20 reasons why Pizza is Better than Sex, my love letter to mac and cheese is an open admittance that I am addicted and it feels oh so good.
This has been a long time coming. You should have expected this.
You know how beautiful you are in your cheesy, pasta-y glory. You don’t need very many ingredients, but when you do bring friends to the party it’s truly a wonderful event. Even at your worst (in a cardboard cup with Velveeta cheese) you are still quite delicious.
I’m not sure who thought pasta and cheese would be a good combo, but I applaud them. Just kidding, of course I know your birth father. He’s one of our founding fathers (and apparently my Founding Father soul mate, according to Buzzfeed). The glorious Thomas Jefferson. You have such a fantastic father, Mac. I wish I were around during your younger years because I would have been instrumental in your upbringing.
I want you to know that you have been there for me through a lot. During my childhood, your Spongebob Squarepants and Scooby Doo shaped pasta ruled my world. During high school I ate you during many a sports banquet and team sleepover. College involved a lot of your instant and boxed variety (except those special occasions I baked you under a layer of breadcrumbs). Now, well, I’m just maintaining our relationship. I hope you’re cool with that.
I love you. That is all.
Like me here? You’ll love me even more on Twitter.
On Tequila Tuesdays, I like to share a story of my recent drunken escapades. This weekend wasn’t so eventful, so I’m going to share an event that I personally cannot wait to attend. Of course, I will have to attend once I move to Nash-Vegas.
It’s the Beer, Bourbon and BBQ Festival.
I know, hard to believe such a wonderful thing exists. But not only does that exist, I also stumbled upon a bakery in New York City (the greatest city on Earth, obviously) which bakes delicious baked goods with the best ingredient on Earth, BACON.
So for all you stoners out there, get pumped because I’m pretty sure they ship product.
Remember that time I went to the Beaujolais region in France? Yeah, me neither. Well, not at the moment. I bought me some Beaujolais Nouveau wine and it is delicious. I highly recommend picking up a cheap bottle at your local wine wholesale location. Instead of the shitty drowsy feeling I usually get after drinking red wine, I feel delicious. And by that I mean fat. Oh wait that’s all the time.
Anyway, I just thought you all should know how that wine is made. This is 100% copy/paste:
Few other wines are produced, bottled, and released within a few weeks of the harvest. The most strategic way to do this is to employ a winemaking method called carbonic maceration. Without getting too technical, carbonic maceration is essentially the fermentation of grapes occurring inside the skins. Traditionally, the winemaking process begins with the crushing of grapes; the juice of the grapes is pushed out of the skins and gradually ferments. For red wines, this juice is often left to sit with its skins so that tannins are extracted, giving the wine a fuller, more concentrated structure, and often adding some bitter flavors. With carbonic maceration, the grapes are not crushed. Rather, the grapes are piled on top of each other in a sealed container that is filled with carbon dioxide. More CO2 is emitted by the grapes on the bottom of the container, as it is gently crushed by the weight of the top grapes. All this carbon dioxide causes fermentation to take place inside the grape skins. The resulting wine is fresh, fruity, and very low in tannins.
Thanks for that, Wine Weekly. I learned a lot.
Can someone get me a refill?